The BIG DAMN OPEN POST

[creepyfries]

All the threads, all the time, for everyone! Even if we've never played together before! It's one big damn happy (or unhappy, depending which way you like your RP to swing) free for all. So if there're any set-ups you want to tag out then jump right in! (...Just please give me a scenario and set the scene well enough for me to know what we're doing, and tag the existing threads instead of adding new ones. Okay? Okay!).

OPEN FOREVER UNTIL WE HIT MAX COMMENTS.

Comments

Rocket Admin Clarissa | Pokemon OC

[bandagedbandit]

[nameissilver]

[Oh look, it's a Silver. And he's either really pissed or in a whiny self-pitying mood. But for once it's completely unrelated to Daddy!]

[bandagedbandit]

[What? No daddy issues? Well, there's a surprise. Clarissa slides away from the wall she's been leaning against as Silver passes, stepping into his path. She unfolds her arms from across her chest, moving her hands to her hips as she smirks at him, mocking but maybe curious.]

Where do you think you're going?

[nameissilver]

I'm going to hunt someone down and break his fucking knees.

[bandagedbandit]

[She moves her hands to grasp Silver's shoulders, just in case he decides to bolt off all of a sudden.]

Oh no you're not! Not until you tell me whose knees and why! [DEETS MOTHERFUCKER]

[nameissilver]

[struggles]

I don't have to tell you anything! If I wanna break his knees I'll break his stupid purple-hair-having knees!

[gruntingtsun]

[Wow, look at that dude. He's crossing his arms and mumbling angrily like someone just pissed in his cereals.]

Can't believe I lost that fucking bet.

[bandagedbandit]

[And look at this chick. She's laughing like she just won a bet, just like she totally knew she would! You were such a fool to challenge her, Dick, don't you feel like a fool?]

Y'mean you didn't see it coming, chump? Come on! I was obviously going to win!

[gruntingtsun]

[YEAH WELL
YOUR MOM IS A FOOL
/MATURE]

I was totally gonna win! You just cheated!

[have I mentioned MATURE yet]

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

[nameissilver]

[There is a cherry pie on the table. Silver, as we have established, is not a sweets kind of guy. But for some reason that pie is awfully tempting to him...even stranger, he's having thoughts of a certain girlfriend of his while eyeing it.]

Sex and dessert? Clearly the best meme ever!

[bandagedbandit]

[And here's said girlfriend now. Clarissa's brisk footsteps cease as she notices the dessert. She approaches, her gaze flicking sharply from Silver, to the pie, and back again.]

What're you doing with that? Where did you get it?

[Because you sure as hell didn't bake it, Silver, and Clarissa knows all about your lack of a sweet tooth, so why is there a sweet-smelling pie on their table?]

Yep >3

[nameissilver]

[Eep! Silver turns around and glares slightly at her, unable to hide the blush forming on his face]

I-I don't know! [his head is too filled with delicious sexy thoughts to worry about little details like that SHUT UP HORMONES]

[bandagedbandit]

[Hmm. She narrows her eyes at him and stalks closer; her response is snappy, as per usual.]

Well I didn't bring it in! You must know where it came from, right? Your face is all red, what're you hiding?

[nameissilver]

Nothing! [just the sudden desire to have hot mindblowing sex with you, Clarissa] I really don't know, it was just there!

[bandagedbandit]

"Just there?"

[She remains on her feet, her distrusting gaze still locked onto the pie, before finally giving a hmph and sitting stiffly down on the floor.]

So it's gotta be an island thing, hasn't it? [She stares at the pie some more — because, you know, just in case it decides to get up and walk out or something — biting on the inside of her mouth in concentration. She then looks up, thrusting her finger out at Silver.]

You. Go get forks and make sure the thing's not pranked!

[nameissilver]

[He'll go get those forks, anything to distract him even temporarily from all the hot steamy dirty thoughts bombarding him. The island, yeah, the island must be playing some trick on them...hopefully not of the exploding variety.]

[bandagedbandit]

[Clarissa will just sit with the pie and wait for Silver to return with the cutlery. Right now the only effect the pie is having on her is that it's making her want to give it a suspicious poke with her finger, which she does. Yes, please not let this be an exploding trick, she would hate to have pie all over the living room.]

[nameissilver]

[Silver returns with two forks, moving a bit stiffly as he's trying to hide the raging boner he's developed at this point. Not that it's going to do any good seeing as this is Silver, who fails at subtlety.]

[nameissilver]

[A man and his pregnant wife, alone at home on a quiet day. What could be more peaceful and idyllic?

When that man is Silver and his wife is Clarissa, ANYTHING. Basically she's been working him like a servant, playing the "I'm pregnant" card for all it's worth and sticking him with all the hard jobs while she lounges around enjoying herself. Silver's been fighting her every step of the way, but it's not much of a fight considering he's who he is and she's who she is plus pregnant.

So Silver is doing the dishes. Badly. And slopping water all over the place while he does it. Chores suck, why should he care about Doing It Right?]

[bandagedbandit]

[Because Silver's life will be in peril if he doesn't? The dangerous concoction of pregnancy hormones mixing with the feeling of becoming increasingly Wailmer-like with each week that passes have done little to help the temperament of Silver's demon-wife, and any lounging around is much sulkier than it is leisurely. Woe betide Silver when Clarissa steps into the kitchen and witnesses the pathetic spectacle in front of her. Quick, ditch the washing up gloves and cover your ears.]

What the hell is this?!

[nameissilver]

[Silver, all too used to her tone, puts down the sponge and turns to look at her.]

A fucking mess, obviously!

[bandagedbandit]

[Clarissa's voice raises by several unnecessary decibels—the fact that Silver's climatised to her rages only serves to make them worse. It was easier when he could be yelled into submission.]

There's water everywhere, you moron! It's like five freakin' Magikarp just used Splash in the sink!

[Her burning gaze follows the water-streaks down the sides of the counter and down to the damp floor, and it's like a firecracker of genuine rage has exploded. Clarissa thrusts out a finger towards the puddles and locks onto Silver with the deadliest of glares.]

What the hell? Do you even get how dangerous that is? I could slip, idiot!

[nameissilver]

Hey, that's what you get for sticking me with all the housework. I told you I sucked at it!

... [Oh, right. The slipping hazard. Silver sighs, grabs a large towel and throws it down over the puddles]

There. Satisfied?

[bandagedbandit]

[Well, the removal of the slip hazard seems to rob Clarissa of one lengthy tirade she'd had prepared, but she's not done yet. All this anger has to go somewhere, and if she has her way it's all getting burned up over Silver.]

No, I'm not bloody satisfied! You can't even wash dishes! How are we going to cope with bringing up a kid if you can't even do that?!

[nameissilver]

Why can't you do it? You're the woman, it's your job to take care of the house while it's my job to empty my wallet into the kid's hands every week! [sup sexism. Silver, you're just asking for a punch to the face for that one.]